Kamen Rider Joker: Uzumaki Driver
by Rider Paladin
Summary: A/U: Gaia Impact destroyed and remade the world, and the technology behind it was lost for generations. Now it has resurfaced in the world of ninja, and the new Kamen Riders will either be this world's salvation or its destruction.
1. Once Lost, Now Found

"Kamen Rider Joker: Uzumaki Driver"

Chapter 1: "Once Lost, Now Found"

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Shonen Jump, and VIZ Entertainment. Kamen Rider Double belongs to TV Tokyo, Toei, and Ishinomori Productions. I make no money whatsoever from the use of either property in this story.

Author's note: I got into Kamen Rider Double recently, and I'm still heavily into Naruto, even if some of the recent developments haven't necessarily been to my liking. Thus, I decided to mix up my two great interests and if you're wondering how this is going to work, I'm going with the explanation that the world we see in Naruto, with its mix of modern aesthetics and Japanese tradition, is what humanity was able to salvage after the apocalypse. That's why things like guns and the other really destructive weapons don't exist anymore; they've long since been buried. If you wanna know how all that happened . . . read the story.

* * *

"Stupid Pervy Sage," young Naruto Uzumaki muttered to himself. "I've gotta fight Neji in two weeks and I'm hardly learning a thing. Sure, walking on water's useful. Sure, it's good that I'm figuring out how to tap the Nine-Tails' chakra and even summon. But what am I learning about actual fighting? Neji'll eat me alive if I can't up my taijutsu game!"

As he was muttering to himself, he was not paying attention to his surroundings, and that would either cost him dearly . . . or help him. Right then, Naruto was thinking more along the lines of the former, assuming he could think beyond random internal swearing due to rapidly tumbling down a valley he hadn't even noticed until a fateful misstep. At the moment, he was just yelling "ow" repeatedly until he crashed to a stop.

"Where the hell am I?" he wondered, looking around curiously as he dusted himself off. He walked through the dark valley, wondering just how no one else had found this before. It seemed rather maintained, though, for a place no one had been in before. "Maybe somebody's using this place for something, but what?"

Then a thought popped into his head: What if he found a cool new jutsu he could use against Neji? That'd show that pompous prick not to mess with him – and more importantly, he could teach said prick a lesson about beating the crap out of his own cousin. His excitement dimmed a little when he thought about Hinata; she was way too sweet to deserve the beating Neji had given her in the preliminaries. Sure, she was a little strange with her constant blushing and shyness around him, but she was good people. She didn't deserve that.

Naruto was so absorbed in his thoughts of Hinata that he didn't notice where he was walking until he bumped into some kind of table. He heard something clatter on the ground and kneeled down to pick it up. It was almost the size of his middle finger, maybe slightly larger, and it resembled a flat stick with an equally flat plug. It was colored a somewhat purplish black and had an uppercase letter "J" engraved in its center.

"What's this?" he asked himself. His attention quickly wandered to a strange device on the table, colored red and looking kind of like the uppercase letter "L," only more angular. Curiously, he picked it up and looked it over. Comparing it with the little black stick he'd found, his eyes spotted something that looked like an outlet for the stick. _Maybe if I put the stick inside, something'll happen!_

So Naruto put the stick inside the device's plug, only to hear a voice shout, **"JOKER!"**

"What the hell?" Naruto yelped in fright, dropping the device in his shock and panic. Somehow, the device simply attached itself to his waist and formed a strap to keep itself there. "What the . . . ?"

His attention was then drawn to something that looked like a book, and he opened it, hoping that the answers he needed would be in there. "'They know me now as the Rikudo Sennin, the Sage of Six Paths. I am the one who defeated the Ten-Tailed Beast and caged his wicked soul within my body. However, they do not know the full truth, the truth that it was my family that created the Ten-Tailed Beast.'"

"Ten-Tailed Beast?" Naruto wondered. "I thought there were only nine of those things!" Nevertheless, he continued reading.

* * *

"_The memories of Gaia gave great power to my family, power that my family sought to use to remake the world. Unfortunately, they knew not what they had unleashed. Along with the man that would become the closest thing to a brother I ever had, I became the warrior Kamen Rider Double to stem the tide of destruction my family knowingly caused, even if they did not understand its full impact._

"_Gaia Impact destroyed the world that was. How fortunate that we were able to restore humanity . . . but things had changed forever. We knew now, that the Gaia Memories were too dangerous for human hands to touch, so we buried them, scattered them across the world to prevent another from using them. It was a little too late, however, as the power of Gaia Impact had seeded itself into all living things, creating the force that some spiritualists called 'chakra.' Even worse, a monstrous demon had been created from the remnants of Gaia Impact, the Ten-Tailed Beast._

"_What few know about me was that when I died for the first time, I was reborn as a living repository of the memories of Gaia. Because of that ability, I was able to entrap the Ten-Tails within my own body, and use its power to defend the world as I had before, albeit in a different way. I taught a select cadre of students how to harness the power of Gaia within their own bodies to protect the world, and they in turn taught others. Unfortunately, not all took my lessons to heart, some growing greedy and only thinking about how they could use their power to rule over others. It was with a heavy heart that I had to put an end to them._

"_It has been years since those days. I have lived a lot longer than I thought I would, but it is time for me to pass on again, this time for good. It is just as well, I suppose. Shotaro is gone. Akiko is gone. Ryu is gone. Elizabeth is gone. Everyone I know and love has long since ceased to be, and this world . . . this wretched and beautiful world . . . I fear for what it will become. . . ."_

* * *

"Whoa . . ." Naruto put the book down, startled at what he'd read. He'd never really paid attention in history class; who cared what a bunch of dead people did way back when? After reading what he'd read, though, he was starting to regret not paying more attention in class. He also regretted that Iruka had made it all sound so boring – if he hadn't, maybe Naruto would have really gotten into it.

He started to walk again, trying to find his way out, only to stumble upon the strangest thing he'd ever seen. It looked like a machine with two wheels, one wheel in front and one wheel in back. The machine was colored black and fairly sleek, ending in a triangular nose poised over the front wheel. Closer examination revealed a red-and-white uppercase "W" inscribed on the sides of the machine, as well as paired glass panels on the front of the machine. He also saw what looked like handlebars on the inside, as though this machine was supposed to be piloted or steered somehow.

"What the hell is this?" Naruto wondered, straddling the machine curiously. It even had a seat for him to rest his backside somewhat comfortably, and holds for his feet so he didn't slip and fall. "How do I get it to start?" An idea popped into his head. "Maybe if I pump some chakra into it . . ."

A small dose of chakra later, the machine was rumbling like a demon from hell, scaring the crap out of Naruto. It got even scarier when the machine started to move forward, taking the frightened and confused Naruto along with it at blistering speeds. Naruto screamed for his life as he tried to gain control over the machine, but there was no such thing as control. The machine seemed to have a mind of its own, like a wild horse that would not allow a human to tame it.

Failing to control it, Naruto tried to at least steer it. This time, all he succeeded in doing was going in circles before he figured out how to reverse direction. Unfortunately, he still had no idea how to control it as the machine continued its hellish rush down the valley. Scared to death that he had no way to control the machine, Naruto did the one thing he thought he could do.

Save himself.

He lunged off the machine, crashing to the ground as the machine spun out of control and collided with the valley wall. "What in Kami's name was that thing?" he yelled. He ran up to the machine and kicked it angrily. "Were you trying to kill me? Was that it?"

The machine, being just a machine, didn't answer. With one last kick, Naruto walked away from the machine, accidentally brushing his hand on the device on his waist. Immediately, it folded out into a V shape, and he could hear that same voice shout, **"JOKER!"** This time, the voice came with a violent aura of purple energy that engulfed his body and reformed into skintight black armor with purple highlights on the chest and shoulders that resembled an uppercase "W."

"What the hell?" Naruto exclaimed in shock, especially after hearing his voice filtered through the helmet he was wearing. He noticed that his vision had become a lot clearer, albeit filtered through a red haze, as though he were wearing colored goggles. Not only that – he felt a lot stronger, and he knew exactly what he wanted to test it out on.

Stomping over to the machine that had nearly killed him, Naruto delivered a vicious kick to its side, which improbably knocked it over into a standing position on its wheels. He looked upon the machine with renewed curiosity. "Maybe if I learn to control you better, you won't get to knock me around anymore!" he shouted at it. Straddling the machine again, the black-armored Naruto gripped the handlebars and thumbed the switch that would turn it on, concentrating hard on not putting as much chakra in as before.

The machine started again, but this time the rumble wasn't as loud and scary. "Hey . . . this is actually kinda cool," Naruto muttered to himself.

That was when the crazy snake woman with her purple hair worn up in a spiky ponytail and wearing a beige duster over her impossibly immodest outfit came down. "Hey!" she shouted at him. "Who are you, and what are you doing messing around like that? You're disturbing my freaking peace and quiet!"

Naruto couldn't help but smirk underneath his helmet. "I didn't know you were into peace and quiet. Anyway, I'm about to try out this scary machine. You wanna hold my hand so I don't panic and crash?"

Anko Mitarashi, the aforementioned crazy snake woman, snorted. "You've got some nerve, kid. But I'm gonna go with it, just because you made me laugh."

"Who says I'm a kid?" Naruto asked.

"You sound like you've barely started puberty," Anko jeered.

"Oh, go –" Before Naruto knew it, Anko was behind him on the machine, pressing her ample chest against his armored back. "Uh, hey . . ."

"You said you wanted me to hold your hand, right?" Anko remarked. "I can hold other things, and maybe I'll help you steer if you're nice."

"You know how to handle this thing?" Naruto asked.

"Well, I'm a little smarter than you, so maybe I can figure it out easier than you did," Anko jibed.

Naruto pouted beneath his helmet. "Whatever. Let's go." He revved up the machine, and it began to move forward at a reasonable speed – not too fast and not too slow.

* * *

"C'mon, you can't speed this thing up a little?" Anko asked.

"I'm trying not to die," Naruto replied. "Isn't that what you told me to do?"

"Ah, now I know you . . ." Anko purred. "You're that brat Uzumaki . . . wouldn't have guessed you liked black, way you parade around in that orange getup of yours."

"What's wrong with orange?" Naruto asked irritably. "Orange is a good color."

"Sure, if you wanna get yourself dead," Anko taunted.

"Whatever," Naruto murmured. "Hey, this is kind of fun."

"No kidding," Anko agreed. "Wind through my hair and all . . ." She slowly moved her hands until they were resting on top of Naruto's black-gloved hands. "C'mon, baby. Trust me a little. I'll make it worth your while." She had Naruto just distracted enough not to notice her revving the throttle, but he sure noticed when the machine sped up.

"What the hell?" Naruto yelled. "What did you go and do that for?"

"You're not scared, are you, tough guy?" Anko yelled over the roaring engine.

"The hell I'm scared!" Naruto shouted back at her, more angry than scared at this point. "You want fast? I'll show you _fast!_" He revved up the machine further, and they became a black blur to most onlookers' eyes, the only audible sound being Anko's mad whooping.

"Hell, yeah! Now that's what I'm talking about!"

"You having fun?"

"Hell, yes, I am!" Anko shouted back at him. "Are you?"

_Actually, kinda, yeah,_ Naruto mused to himself. _Man, if only Sakura could see me now. She'd be so jealous! She'd get over Sasuke in a heartbeat, just to get on my sweet new ride!_ A huge grin formed beneath his helmet, as he thought about all the fun he'd have now with this new machine. He'd be the talk of the village! They wouldn't be able to ignore him or disrespect him anymore!

For a moment, he wondered if there were more machines like the one he and Anko were riding now. Maybe they could form some kind of riding machine gang that would protect the village from all those freaky bastards out there that wanted to hurt people. Maybe they could go roaming Fire Country, ready to thrash anybody that'd lay a hand on innocent people. He'd be a hero!

_Hey, wait, if I was gonna have a riding machine gang, who would I put in it?_ Naruto wondered. Then he realized that he didn't know very many people outside of Team Seven. He was half-sure Sasuke would want to try out a riding machine for his own, but that would be another thing for them to compete over, whose machine was cooler. Sakura would probably drool all over Sasuke's machine, even if Naruto's was way cooler.

His musings were interrupted by a sudden turn. "What the –? Anko?"

"Be grateful you're not dead," she replied. "We nearly hit a wall."

"Oh," Naruto uttered in realization. "Thanks."

"So who were you thinking about?" Anko asked.

"What makes you think I was thinking about anyone?" Naruto asked.

"Young stud like you, you've probably got girls all over you."

"I wish. The girl I like is obsessively in love with my teammate, best friend, and main competition."

"You mean broody boy?" Anko smirked. "Yeah, he's pretty, but I like my men a little more adjusted."

"Wouldn't have guessed."

"I might be a wild child, but a lady of sufficient experience like me prefers a guy she can count on to be there for her, not a revenge-obsessed jerk who deliberately pushes away everyone that tries to be his friend." She snorted again. "Well, maybe you can get through to him. He seems to like you."

"Of course he likes me. I'm awesome!"

Anko chuckled a little. "I believe you, kiddo."

"You better not be being sarcastic!" Naruto yelled.

"Who says I'm being sarcastic?"

Naruto chuckled wickedly. "Oh, I know where we can stop."

"Where?" Anko asked.

Naruto steered the machine right through what most adult ninja referred to as "the red-light district." Anko chortled wickedly.

"You've got some nerve, kiddo, having our first date be here."

"No, I'm meeting someone."

* * *

When the machine stopped, the black-armored Naruto and Anko were outside a burlesque house. Just to be irritating, Naruto revved up the engine of his new riding machine. True to his presumption, a white-haired man in a red vest over a gray-green outfit and with a metal headband marked with the kanji for "oil" came out, cursing angrily.

"All right, who are you and can't a guy get his jollies without being interrupted by a psycho on a loud machine!" he yelled.

"Oh, hey, Pervy Sage!" Naruto shouted. "Didn't know you were in there!" He was, of course, lying through his teeth.

"Naruto, what are you wearing and what is that machine?" Jiraiya asked, recognizing the boy by virtue of that damnable nickname.

"Dunno," Naruto replied. "It's some kind of weird armor, and the machine . . . well, it's some kind of land transport vehicle. From the sound of it, the engine burns some kind of fuel to get this thing moving."

"And third . . ." Jiraiya smirked when he saw Anko. "Who is this lovely woman and how did you get her to take a ride with you?"

"Wanted to see what he'd do with it," Anko replied. "Hey, Jiraiya. Been a while."

"Yeah . . ." Jiraiya agreed with a smile. "You've certainly grown up just fine."

"Watch it, Pervy Sage!" Naruto yelled, pointing at him.

Anko patted Naruto's shoulder. "Nice to know you care, but Jiraiya's just being Jiraiya. No need to defend me."

"You guys know each other?" Naruto deduced.

"I knew her sensei," Jiraiya answered cryptically, a dark look passing over both his and Anko's faces for a moment.

"Is he dead or something?" Naruto wondered.

"It's not something I like talking about," Jiraiya responded. "Anko likes talking about it even less. For the sake of your health, let's change the subject."

"Fine," Naruto grumbled, only to be interrupted by the sight of several immodestly dressed and made-up women crowding around . . . him. "Huh?"

"What is that strange machine?" one of them, a blonde with blue eye shadow and lipstick and garbed in a corset that left very little to the imagination, asked.

"Dunno what it's called, but I can go really fast on it," Naruto replied.

"How fast?" another one, a purple-haired woman with dark eyeliner and purple lipstick, inquired.

Naruto looked into the cockpit of the riding machine. "Uhhh . . . 290 kilometers an hour?"

"That's pretty fast," a third, a redhead in a scandalously skimpy pair of shorts, remarked.

"You know, kiddo, if you want, I can set you up for a date with one of these lovely ladies," Jiraiya offered. "You'd be the envy of all your old classmates!"

"No thanks," Naruto replied, thanking Kami above for the helmet that concealed his blushing face from everyone looking at him. "Besides, I have to train. I got Neji to deal with in the Chunin Exam finals . . . which you've been doing a crappy job helping me with!"

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," Jiraiya answered coolly.

"Yeah, right." Naruto scowled beneath his helmet. "Hey, Anko, would you like to train with me? I wanna see how this armor works."

"Sure, kid," Anko purred. "I've been jonesing for someone to play with and you're just about perfect."

"Sayonara, Pervy Sage!" Naruto shouted, and rode away with Anko.

* * *

Two weeks later, Naruto had gotten the hang of his riding machine, which he'd learned was technically a motorized bicycle. For the sake of simplicity, though, he called it a "motorcycle." He'd also figured out the Joker Memory and the device that it plugged into to generate his black armor. Inside the black armor, he was stronger, faster, tougher, and his senses and reflexes were more acute.

It wasn't just the black armor, though; Anko had kept him on his toes throughout their time together, using her snakes to pursue him. She'd acknowledged his improvement only when he was able to not only evade, but counterattack her snakes with his bare hands. At that point, he was certain that if he could react to snakes, he could react to Neji's attacks, which were just about as fast . . . if not faster, from what he'd seen.

He'd also taken the time to visit Lee in the hospital, just in time to find Gaara ready to kill him or something. To his great shock, Gaara had revealed to him that he had a Tailed Beast sealed inside him, one that had driven him quite insane and made him into a hated outcast among his people, an outcast that hated everyone just as much as he believed everyone hated him. That was why he had become such a brutal killer – to prove his existence, he had to erase the existences of others, or so he believed.

On his way to the arena where the Chunin Exam finals would be held, Naruto thought about Gaara, unable to get the red-haired Sand ninja out of his mind. _Was that . . . what I could have become, if it wasn't for my friends? Would I have become the same kind of monster Gaara turned into?_

Once again, Naruto had gotten distracted, distracted enough that he'd almost missed the arena. A small smirk crossed his face. It was time to make the new and improved Naruto Uzumaki known to his village. Revving up his motorcycle, he charged into the arena and skidded to a stop right in the center where the other genin – with the exceptions of Sasuke Uchiha and Dosu Kinuta – were also waiting.

"Yo!" Naruto announced himself as he got off the motorbike and dusted off his new clothes. Instead of a blue headband, Naruto now wore his Leaf-issued forehead protector on a longer black headband. He also wore an open black jacket with orange spiral patches on the shoulders over a black chainmail shirt and black pants with orange spiral patches on the knees.

In addition, he wore a pair of black open-toed boots with armor on the feet, ankles, and shins, as well as fingerless black gloves with metal backing marked by the symbol of the Leaf. A white strap around his waist held the L-shaped red device into which Naruto would insert the Joker Memory to summon his armor, with the Joker Memory safely contained inside the inner pocket of Naruto's jacket.

"Always gotta be a showoff, huh, Naruto?" Shikamaru drawled lazily.

"Whatever," Naruto grunted good-naturedly, taking his place beside the other genin. "Hey, where's Sasuke?"

"Beats the hell out of me," Shikamaru replied.

"Stand straight," the jonin on scene, Genma Shiranui, instructed. "You're future chunin. You should carry yourselves with pride."

Naruto stood straight, looking out into the surprisingly large crowd. "Where'd all these people come from?"

"All over the Elemental Countries," Shikamaru replied. "Wanna bet a lot of those people came here for Sasuke?"

"What's so special about him?" Naruto asked irritably.

"The Uchiha clan was feared around the world for their abilities on the battlefield," Shikamaru explained. "Now Sasuke's the only one left . . . lotta people out there wanna see how the guy lives up to his family's rep."

Naruto scoffed, but deep down he felt a little insulted. Where the hell was his family, huh? Were they all dead? Did they just drop off the face of the earth? Did they all go away somewhere so they wouldn't have to put up with him?

He refused to dwell on it, though. He wasn't going to cry in front of all these people and humiliate himself. He was Naruto Uzumaki, and even without a prestigious clan or any other kind of family, he was going to kick the living hell out of anything and anyone that got in his way.

"I'll move that riding machine of yours so it doesn't get in the way of the fighting," Genma offered.

"Thanks," Naruto replied. "Just be careful with it."

"I will," Genma answered, taking the moment to move the motorbike to the far side of the arena before returning to the genin. "All right, the first match is between Naruto Uzumaki and Neji Hyuga. Everyone else should move to the watching area set aside for Chunin Exam participants to avoid injury during their fight."

Shikamaru, Shino, and the Sand Siblings moved into the watching area for Chunin Exam participants, leaving Naruto alone with Neji and Genma, who stood between the two remaining genin. "Remember, the fight will go on until one of you surrenders or is unable to continue without risk of permanent injury or death. It should be mentioned that I have discretion to intervene if I believe one of you _is_ in danger of death or permanent injury. Now, begin!"

Genma got out of the way, leaving Naruto and Neji to stare each other down. "I don't care what new clothes you made for yourself, you are still fated to lose," Neji sneered.

"The only reason you won was that Hinata didn't want to hurt you," Naruto retorted.

"She never could hurt me," Neji rejoined coldly. "She was always too soft to be a Hyuga."

Naruto withdrew the Joker Memory from his jacket pocket. "Let's do this."

"**JOKER!"**

"What is that thing?" Neji asked.

"Something to even the odds a bit," Naruto replied before slotting it into the L-shaped device on his waist. He pushed the device to unfold it into a more V-like shape and a glowing letter "J" shone off that device's mount. "Henshin."

"**JOKER!"**

A cyclone of purple-black energy engulfed Naruto, sheathing his body in black armor with large red insect-like eyes and a "W" crest that from far off could be mistaken for a "V" over those same eyes. Purple bands wrapped around his wrists and ankles, and a purple design that resembled a "W" spread over his chest and shoulders.

The transformation that had just occurred caused almost everyone in the audience to gasp, some more audibly than others. "How did he do that?" Sakura shouted.

_Naruto . . ._ Hinata thought worriedly. _What did you do to yourself?_

Hanabi Hyuga, Hinata's younger sister, turned to their father Hiashi in search of an explanation. Hiashi's initial response was a hard stare out into the arena where the transformed Naruto faced off with Neji. After a few precious seconds, he spoke. "This is nothing but a failure attempting to show off. Neji will beat him. His Byakugan and fighting prowess are the most developed I have seen of this generation of our clan."

"Yes, Father," Hanabi assented.

Inside the arena, Neji scowled at Naruto. "Do you really think such a showy transformation will change the outcome of this fight at all?"

Naruto smirked beneath his mask and pointed at Neji. "It's time to count your crimes, Neji Hyuga!"

Neji chuckled and activated his Byakugan, the veins surrounding his eyes bulging and his pupils dilating enough to become manifest in his otherwise blank eyes. He shifted into a taijutsu stance. "You're too pathetic to scare me, trying to act like some flashy superhero out of a silly children's manga."

"We'll see who's pathetic when I'm done," Naruto rejoined calmly. "Make your move . . . bastard."

* * *

Endnotes: There you have it. The first chapter of my Naruto/Kamen Rider Double crossover is complete! The new Kamen Rider Joker is ready to take on the pride and joy of the Hyuga clan for Hinata's honor, but will his newfound abilities measure up to Neji's skills? How many other Gaia Memories will be revealed over the course of this story? Will there be new Kamen Riders, and if so, will they be allies – or adversaries? For the answers to those questions and others, hang on for next chapter and be sure to review!


	2. Black Wildcard, White Eyes

"Kamen Rider Joker: Uzumaki Driver"

Chapter 2: "Black Wildcard, White Eyes"

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, Shonen Jump, and VIZ Media. Kamen Rider Double belongs to Toei and Ishinomori Productions. I make no money from the use of either property in this story.

Author's note: I know it's been eight months since the very first chapter I posted. I apologize for that, and with the help of some good friends, I have gained inspiration through which I can make up for this terrible delay. In any case, it's time for the new Kamen Rider Joker to show everyone in Konoha just what he can do! Of course, he's not exactly the first or only one to acquire the power of a Gaia Memory – but what will that mean for him and his comrades in the Hidden Leaf? For the answers to those questions and others, read on!

* * *

As everyone in the massive audience gasped in shock, awe, and a little bit of horror at seeing Naruto Uzumaki's transformation, Naruto himself was more contemplative. _Are you watching me now, Hinata? I know now, you've always watched me, always had my back, even when I couldn't see you. You waited so long for me to acknowledge you, and I waited so long for someone to acknowledge me. . . . I guess we both got our wish, so one more time, Hinata, watch me. Now that I know you're watching, watch me one more time as I fight for our ninja way!_

Within the audience, an old man with hard features partly concealed by bandages over the right side of his face and an arm in a sling grimly observed the scene before him. _That brat,_ he thought angrily. _He's endangered the entire scenario . . . transforming like that out in the open, and with observers from the other Elemental Countries, no less. We'll have to move quicker now, to harness the power of the Memories against the Hidden Leaf's enemies. . . ._

"Have I left you speechless, Neji?" Naruto taunted. "Is this as far as your belief in fate goes? Are you actually scared you'll lose to a 'loser' like me?"

Neji's eyes narrowed as the Byakugan fully manifested, the clear pupil forming in the center of his irises and veins bulging out around his eyes. "You couldn't touch me in a million years, not even with that transformation," Neji boasted. Inside, he wasn't nearly as confident as he'd sounded; his Byakugan couldn't pierce through Naruto's new armor to see his chakra nodes, and that baffled him.

The next thing Neji knew, Kamen Rider Joker was coming at him with a flying knee. Neji threw out a Gentle Fist strike to block Joker's knee, succeeding in that much as Joker lost his balance and twisted into a collapse . . . only for that twist to lead into a low sweeping kick that knocked Neji's legs out from under him. Having anticipated a more frontal retaliation from Naruto, the Gentle Fist practitioner was quite shocked at his opponent's subterfuge, but not so shocked he couldn't roll out of the way of Naruto's following elbow slam to his stomach. Even so, he was surprised at the sheer power of the elbow slam, as it had made quite an impressive crater in the ground.

It was even more surprising, though, to find Kamen Rider Joker in his face no sooner than he'd gotten to his feet, throwing a fast punch at said face. Neji blocked with another Gentle Fist thrust, using it to throw Joker's punch off-course only to get a hard elbow to the gut with enough force and speed to knock the breath out of him. Using Neji's body as a fulcrum on which to twist himself upward into a back-flip, Joker landed with a body-slam that knocked Neji to the ground.

"Damn . . ." Kotetsu remarked from where he was observing the match. "Uzumaki's beating his ass like he owes him money."

"I heard about what happened in the prelims," Izumo commented. "That's why Neji's getting his ass beaten like that."

"You mean Uzumaki's trying to avenge Hinata or something like that?" Kotetsu surmised. "Never figured you for a romantic, Izumo."

"You said it, not me," Izumo rejoined amiably. "Still, I wasn't expecting that kind of power . . . or speed . . . or skill, for that matter, from that kid, of all people. He must have had a really good teacher."

Hiashi Hyuga was every bit as surprised as the others to see how poorly Neji was faring. "He is the best of this generation's ninja . . . and he is losing to someone like Naruto . . . Perhaps I overestimated him . . . or underestimated his opponent."

"Father, how is that boy beating Neji?" Hanabi inquired softly yet with an undercurrent of outraged bewilderment. "For a Branch member, he is supposed to be especially skilled. That is what you keep saying, and yet this boy is trouncing him."

"It appears Naruto Uzumaki is, at the very least, living up to his boast as this village's most unpredictable shinobi," Hiashi replied stoically, his face and tone belying the tension in his thoughts.

"How the hell is that supposed to be working?" Kiba asked. "Neji's hitting Naruto with his Gentle Fist, and yet it's not doing anything to him! And even with the Byakugan, Naruto's still coming at him! What the hell is going on?"

"It's that armor!" Sakura concluded. "Somehow, it must block Neji's Byakugan from seeing his chakra nodes or closing them off!"

"But where did he get it?" Ino wondered.

"Who cares?" Kiba asked. "He's giving Neji all nine circles of hell. Never been too big a fan of Naruto myself, but I like Neji even less."

"Because of what he did to Hinata in the preliminaries," Ino observed.

Kiba nodded grimly, before shouting out at the field, "Hey, Naruto! Kick his ass!"

* * *

That cry reached Naruto's ears rather well, causing the black Rider to smirk beneath his helmet. "I intend to, Kiba," he murmured as he rose to his feet, Neji rising along with him. "Good, you're not dead yet. Means I get to kick you around a little more for what you did to Hinata."

"Why the hell do you care, you loser?" Neji sneered.

"Because she noticed me when no one else did . . . and I was too stupid and blind to notice her noticing me," Naruto whispered, his voice tinged with self-contemning regret. "Too stupid and blind to notice her at all . . . and she cared more than almost anyone else I've ever known . . ."

Neji snorted out a brief, harsh laugh. "Is that what this fight has been about for you? Avenging someone who's just as pathetic as you?"

Kamen Rider Joker didn't say anything, opting to just remove the Joker Memory from his Driver and place it inside the slot mounted on his hip. "**JOKER! MAXIMUM DRIVE!"** could be heard loud and clear.

"Rider Punch," Joker whispered harshly as purple energy surged into his upraised fist. If not for Neji activating his ultimate defense, a dashing Joker would have hit him hard enough to break something vital.

"Rotation!" Immediately, Neji spun at high speed, chakra exploding from every pore of his body and spinning with him in such a way as to form a defensive barrier that threw Joker into a wall from the force of his reflected finisher. When the dome of spinning chakra died down, it could be seen quite clearly that Joker had been embedded in the wall . . . and that Neji's Rotation defense had dug a deep crater in the ground where he'd been standing.

"Where the hell did _that_ come from?" Kiba exploded in shock from what he'd just seen – metaphorically, of course.

_That was Neji's ultimate defense,_ Tenten mused to herself, _a defense even more effective than Gaara's sand. By spinning rapidly and violently opening all of his chakra nodes, he creates a barrier of chakra designed to perfectly shield him and turn any attack by his opponent back on that opponent. You've gotten better, Naruto . . . but you're not good enough to beat Neji. Not yet._

"Naruto . . ." Hinata whispered softly, clutching her heart.

"Rotation is a technique exclusive to the main house of the clan, Father," Hanabi spoke again. "How did Neji learn it?"

_No one taught him,_ Hiashi thought. _He must have learned how to do it from watching members of the main house do it often enough. That boy is even more gifted than I estimated . . . in a just world . . ._

Kamen Rider Joker dragged himself out of the wall Neji's surprise defense had embedded him in. "Nice . . . didn't see that one coming. Shows what I get for being cocky," he grunted to himself. Then he shouted at Neji. "Nice move! Let's see how many times you can keep doing it before you pass out from chakra exhaustion! Shadow Clone Technique!"

A swarm of black-armored Jokers came down on Neji like a tsunami, surrounding him on all sides. Even worse for him was that since he couldn't see the original Joker's chakra nodes to begin with, he could not tell where he was in this sea of identically armored replicas. As such, he was very much on the defensive against the hellish black tide, even though his Byakugan gave him 360-degree vision. Worse yet, the clones seemed to move in near-perfect coordination, using each other as springboards for sequential assaults that pushed even the Hyuga clan's scorned prodigy to his limits.

_How?_ Neji wondered. _How is he doing this? He was supposed to be nothing but a dead-last! His victory against Kiba was a mere fluke! How is he beating me like this? No . . . I will not . . . allow this to happen!_

Channeling his fury, Neji's chakra burst from his body, forcing back the Joker doppelgangers as he began to move for another Rotation, throwing them back even further from the sheer force. The collapsing Jokers all vanished one by one, leaving behind the original. With the energy from the Rotation fading, Neji began to pant heavily, but the cost to his chakra supply was worth it to finish off that damned fool who thought he could beat him, even if Neji couldn't see his chakra.

He stalked toward the seemingly prone Kamen Rider Joker, ready to deliver the coup de grace to the presumptuous loser. Just then, he heard the strange mechanical voice shout . . .

"**JOKER! MAXIMUM DRIVE!"**

"Rider Kick!" Neji heard Naruto's voice as another Kamen Rider Joker came at him with a flying kick charged in purple energy. Neji barely reacted in time to create a brief burst of chakra to shield himself from Naruto's supercharged kick. The shield also caused the force of the kick to rebound on Naruto, knocking him back into another wall . . . or it would have if Naruto hadn't compensated with a midair tumble to land semi-gracefully on the ground. Neji turned to the Joker he'd been about to finish off, and that Joker dispelled, revealing itself to be another Shadow Clone.

"A decoy," Neji sneered. "Clever. You used him to distract me while trying for a sneak attack. That would have worked on anyone else . . . but you're not dealing with anyone else. You're dealing with me, and it is your fate to lose here!"

"Why is it my fate to lose?" Joker asked. "Just out of curiosity. Who gave you that idea?"

"We are all born in predetermined positions and with predetermined traits and abilities," Neji explained. "That is why you have those who are called prodigies or geniuses and those who are called losers or failures. The predetermined traits that we are all given are what make us either geniuses or failures, and no matter how hard we may try, there is no defiance of that predetermination. We are all consigned to our roles, and there is no escape from that. Hinata learned that the hard way. So will you."

"Really?" Naruto remarked. "No escape? Is that why you tried to kill Hinata? When it was your predestined role to be her protector? Is that what you were trying to escape from, _you freaking hypocrite?"_ Not wanting to hear another word out of Neji's mouth, the black Rider charged toward his opponent and attacked furiously and frenetically, his speed astonishing Neji so much he could barely react in time to defend himself.

_This speed . . . I haven't seen anything like this since . . . since Lee took off his weights to fight Gaara!_ Neji thought. _How did he ascend to this level in a mere month?_

Indeed, Naruto was little more than a black blur and if it hadn't been for Neji's Byakugan, he wouldn't have been able to see him move at all. The audience was even more astonished, particularly the ninja in said audience. "He's moving just like Lee!" Sakura exclaimed. "How is he doing that? Is it that suit?"

Anko chuckled. _Only half the story, girlie. You'd be amazed what a little hardcore Snake training can accomplish in two weeks' time, suit or no suit. Give him hell, Naruto._

Neji fought his hardest, but Kamen Rider Joker was fighting with the kind of speed he hadn't seen in anybody else but Lee . . . and if it had been Lee he was fighting against, he might have fared just as poorly as he was now against the Skilled Warrior. The worst part was that like Lee, it wasn't just speed that Joker was using; every blow that Neji managed to evade still came with such force that Neji had no doubt it would have put holes in the arena walls and small craters in the ground. Then he corrected himself; the worst part was that Joker was moving so fast he seemed to intermittently disappear even from his Byakugan's near-360-degree sight.

Then Joker reappeared with a brutal spin kick that knocked him to the ground. _No, _this_ is the worst part,_ Neji thought, the power of the kick being such that his _bones_ felt it.

"Come on, Neji!" Joker taunted. "Is this the best you can do? You were the one who said I was fated to lose! Who's on the ground like a loser now?"

Neji rose to his feet, the veins around his eyes bulging more from sheer hate than from the Byakugan's activation. _He mocks me . . . how dare he mock me? What does he know?_ Then a small smirk came at the realization that Kamen Rider Joker was walking toward him. Not speeding, just walking, as though he thought his victory was so assured already that he didn't have to race to seize it. Neji would teach him to regret assuming he would win so easily, and he shifted into an unusual stance, twisted to the side while facing Naruto and with one arm stretched back and the other stretched forward. "You are in my path of divination . . ." he whispered dangerously.

"What the . . . ?" Naruto uttered as he suddenly envisioned a yin-yang symbol underneath Neji's feet and a black floor with green ripples extending from that yin-yang symbol under his foe's feet. _This will be pain._

"Gentle Fist Art: Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms," Neji growled, and then began to enact his technique. "Two strikes!" He hit Joker twice. "Four strikes!" He hit Joker two more times. "Eight strikes!" He hit Joker four more times. "Sixteen strikes!" Eight more strikes to Joker. "Thirty-two strikes!" Sixteen more strikes bombarded Joker. "Sixty-four strikes!" Thirty-two more strikes, and each time Neji had doubled the number of Gentle Fist blows, he had also doubled their force and pace. Even if Neji couldn't pierce his chakra nodes, he could still give Kamen Rider Joker one brutal pummeling in retaliation for the hell the Rider had given him by daring to fight him on what he thought was even footing.

By the end of the technique, the Skilled Warrior could barely stand, he was so weakened. Even worse for him, the technique had been enough for a Memory Break, ejecting the Joker Memory from the Lost Driver and the Lost Driver from his waist, reverting him to everyday Naruto Uzumaki. Without the power of the Joker Memory, there was nothing really stopping him from collapsing outright, though he had enough pride to catch himself on one knee.

* * *

Inside the audience stands, Hiashi's hardened eyes viewed this latest display of unexpected skill and power from his nephew. _Another one he managed to learn for himself, even though there was no one to teach him, no one that should have taught him . . ._ he thought. _Truly, Neji, I was wrong to underestimate you so quickly . . . and I am sorry that fate took such a turn with you._

"Neji's foe is finished, isn't he?" Hanabi surmised. "Against such skill and power, even that device couldn't give him enough power to win."

Elsewhere in the stands, Hinata watched with sad eyes. "Naruto . . ." she whispered mournfully.

"In the end, that wasn't really your power, was it, Naruto Uzumaki?" Neji taunted. "Just some toy you hid behind like a crutch. And now that I have stripped you of it, you are nothing before me." He smirked. "Where are your brave words now, Naruto Uzumaki? Your defiance?" He saw Naruto's shoulders shaking as Naruto was still bent over on one knee. "Are you weeping for your lost chance at victory? Are you weeping now that the truth has seeped into even your thick skull?"

To his shock, Naruto threw his head back and let out a wild laugh, which also shocked everyone in the audience. "You're laying it on thick there, aren't you, Neji? If you're gonna beat a guy, you might as well be decent enough to just get it over with, because you don't look like a proud Hyuga gloating like that."

"What do you know about the Hyuga?" Neji exploded wrathfully. "You know nothing of us!"

"I know that for some reason, half your family is supposed to protect the other half and you don't like it one bit," Naruto replied. "Why else would you have tried so hard to destroy Hinata's spirit, and then just break her body when you couldn't do the same to her spirit?"

"You wouldn't understand!" Neji snarled.

"_Then make me understand!"_ Naruto screamed as he straightened up. "Make me understand what would drive you to try to murder an innocent girl who never wanted to hurt you! Tell me! _Tell me why!_"

Neji snarled and ripped off his forehead protector, revealing a manji symbol on his bare forehead in green sealing ink and two wavy green lines framing the symbol. "Do you see this symbol on my forehead, Naruto Uzumaki? It is the mark that all in the Branch Houses of the Hyuga clan must bear, to prove their lifelong servitude to the Main House of the Hyuga! Triggered by the right hand seal, the seal known only to members of the Hyuga clan's Main House, this mark can bring incredible pain to the one bearing it, such horrible pain that you'd feel like your brain was on fire!"

Naruto looked at Neji in horror at what he and other members of the Hyuga clan's Branch Houses must have endured. "There is another use for this mark, though, a far more important use to our clan than merely preserving the dominance of the Main House over the Branch Houses. Upon the death of a Hyuga clansman cursed with this mark, his Byakugan will be sealed, preventing it from falling into the hands of enemy shinobi. That is how my father, the twin brother of Hiashi Hyuga, was sacrificed for the safety of the Hyuga clan's bloodline!"

Naruto was aghast at this. "Twin brother? Your father was Hinata's father's twin? Then how . . . ?"

"How did he end up in the Branch House?" Neji finished with a bitter smirk marring his otherwise handsome face. "He was born second, and Hinata's father was born first. Let me tell you a story, though, a story about a treaty between the Hidden Cloud and the Hidden Leaf, a treaty that was no more than a ruse for the Cloud's 'ambassador' to infiltrate our village and kidnap a young Hyuga child for her bloodline. That child was Hinata, and Hiashi, like any father who had spotted a strange man trying to make off with his then-only daughter, attacked and killed the fool who dared attempt such a thing.

"The Hidden Cloud played innocent, like they had no idea what they'd actually sent their ambassador to do, and demanded Hiashi's head lest there be war between Cloud and Leaf, something our village could not afford in the wake of the disaster of the Nine-Tailed Fox. Hiashi figured out a way around it, though – sending my father, his brother Hizashi, to die in his place to appease Cloud's anger and yet deny them the Byakugan. Even better, they couldn't complain about getting the wrong brother, or else their true motives would become apparent and they wouldn't be able to play the aggrieved victims.

"That is what it means to be of the Branch House of the Hyuga clan – to live in eternal servitude to the Main House, to be their defenders, their shields, and even their sacrificial pawns! That is the true fate of the Hyuga clan, a fate none of us can escape!"

Hiashi looked down at the arena in horror, realizing what his actions years ago had created. "Neji . . ." he whispered regretfully.

Hinata had already known the story, but hearing Neji lay it out with such clear pained anger in his voice was something else, something that made her heart ache for him even in spite of the beating he had given her in the preliminaries last month. She pressed her hands to her heart, clenched in sorrow for the boy she had thought of as her brother.

Inside the arena, Naruto looked at Neji with sorrowful eyes. "Believe it or not, I understand your pain, Neji Hyuga. I was also marked as a child, marked from the moment I was born, even. This mark made me an outcast, shunned by everyone in this village and treated as though I wasn't even human. But you know what?"

He hooked his Lost Driver back onto his waist, and the belt unfurled to fasten the Driver there. "Your pain doesn't give you the right to take it out on people who never did anything to you. Hiashi was a jerk to sacrifice your father like that, but Hinata had no part in that! She was just a child; did you expect her to fight off a grown man and trained ninja by herself? Poor pathetic fool . . . so blinded by your pain that you can't see she's suffered as much as you about the so-called fate of your clan. And I'm going to teach you one thing, the only thing that really matters . . ."

He thumbed the Joker Memory in his hand. **"JOKER!"**

His eyes flashed red with slit pupils as he glared at Neji, red like the Nine-Tailed Fox's eyes, like the chakra he had been channeling the whole time he'd been listening to Neji's speech. "_There is no fate but that which we make! Henshin!_" He slammed the Joker Memory into the slot of the Lost Driver and flicked the switch.

"**JOKER!"**

* * *

Instead of glowing purple, the Joker Memory began to glow red, as did the radiating particles that fused to Naruto to form the black armor of Kamen Rider Joker. The armor had changed as well, the purple highlights replaced instead by blood red and the eyepieces glowing like hellfire.

"Kamen Rider Joker, NT Mode," Naruto whispered, and in a blur of red-edged black, he had thrown a punch in Neji's face, only for Neji to block it with another chakra burst shield. Undeterred, Kamen Rider Joker flipped back onto the arena wall, just in time to dodge a barrage of shuriken Neji threw at him and slip behind him with enough speed to almost take him by surprise.

"**JOKER! MAXIMUM DRIVE!"**

"Rider Kick," Naruto whispered, prompting Neji to whirl to retaliate while flaring his chakra to use as a defense from the crimson-charged roundhouse kick Naruto was swinging at him. The collision of Neji's chakra field with the Nine-Tails-reinforced finisher technique caused an explosion of sound and light and force that nearly shook the arena to its foundations. When the dust cleared and the audience's eyes had recovered enough that they could try looking at the arena again, they saw Neji slowly rising to his feet, scratches and dirt marring his skin and outfit, while Naruto lay on the ground in a black heap.

"Call it, Proctor," Neji snapped as he walked up to survey the beaten Naruto. When he tipped him over with his foot, Naruto looked up at him and raised his middle finger in a rather vulgar but clear display of contempt.

"Sucker," Naruto sneered before popping into smoke.

"Another –?" Neji didn't have time to finish his outraged exclamation before an un-transformed Naruto Uzumaki clocked him solidly in the face, knocking him to the ground.

"Yeah," Naruto replied. "You'd be surprised how well someone can disappear in plain sight if everyone else is looking everywhere except where they should be looking. And at this point, I doubt you're up to further fighting, so I'm gonna stand here and tell you something."

"What?" Neji spat.

"I used to hate clones," Naruto confessed. "It was the one technique I could never get right in the Academy, no matter how hard I tried. But Shadow Clones? They're just perfect. They take more chakra than the standard Clone Technique, which is a mere illusion. It takes even more chakra to reinforce and solidify an illusion, which is why the Shadow Clone Technique is normally forbidden. Me? I got more than enough chakra for an entire freaking army of ninja . . . and I figured that out _despite_ being a two-time loser and failure. If I can accomplish that, then a 'genius' like you hasn't got a right to complain about 'fate' stopping you from doing what you want to do. And you wanna know something else?'

He crouched down to whisper in Neji's ear. "You're looking at the next Hokage, and when I get that hat, the first thing I'm going to do is help you change the way the Hyuga clan works, free you all from your curse. Because I know what it's like to be cursed, too." He extended his hand to Neji, offering to help him up onto his feet. After a moment of great consideration and thought, Neji took Naruto's hand and let his erstwhile foe help him back onto his feet.

"I suppose I can call the match now," Genma remarked. "The winner is – Naruto Uzumaki!"

The crowd looked down at the arena in shock from what they'd just heard and seen. Naruto Uzumaki, the idiot prankster, the cursed child they had all shunned, the two-time failure whom they were all sure would never amount to anything, had beaten Neji Hyuga, the pride of the Hyuga clan with a combination of skill, misdirection, and a strange device they couldn't even begin to fathom how it worked. Slowly, the shock gave way to applause, started by none other than Sakura and Kiba and spreading through the crowd like a virus until everyone was cheering and applauding for Naruto.

"So this is what respect feels like," Naruto murmured. "It feels nice."

* * *

As the crowd applauded, Sarutobi smiled from inside the Kage booth. "You do live up to your title of Number-One Unpredictable Ninja of the Leaf, Naruto," he proudly remarked.

"He's quite the talented boy, Sarutobi," the Kazekage remarked next to him.

"Not really," Sarutobi answered with a slight chuckle. "But he works for every ounce of skill he has and that's as good as talent any day."

"I suppose I'll concede to your superior experience on that account," the Kazekage assented with a smirk.

"I suppose you will," Sarutobi rejoined pointedly.

There was one person not applauding in that crowd, and it was the bandaged man who had one eye covered and one arm in a sling. _He is going to ruin everything,_ he thought. _Now that everyone has seen the power of the Memories, other nations will seek that power. You foolish boy, Naruto Uzumaki, you have laid a target upon the very village you seek to lead. Measures will have to be taken, to protect the village, and to ensure that a wildcard like you doesn't utterly FUBAR the scenario. Yes, I will make sure that the Hidden Leaf is still standing, and standing much taller once all is said and done, even if I must take you out, child._

* * *

Endnotes: There you have it, my triumphant return to Kamen Rider Joker: Uzumaki Driver. Hopefully you guys like it, and aren't so angry at me for dithering for almost two years before working on it again. All the same, if there's anyone I can thank for giving me the jolt I needed to start working on this story again, it's Kutasan, the current writer of the Naruto/Spider-Man crossover fic "The New Demon." His latest chapter for that story was nothing short of awesome, and it inspired me for how I handled the Naruto-Joker vs. Neji fight in this chapter. I will admit, however, that I was thinking Vegeta from DBZ when I was writing out some of the lines.

In any event, I'm sure you all know who that bandaged guy eyeing Naruto so furiously is, but what is his real agenda for the power of the Gaia Memories? What will the other Hidden Villages do now that they have seen the kind of power Naruto used to beat Neji? What about a certain serpentine schemer and his own plans for the Hidden Leaf? And on a more personal note, will Neji be able to find some closure for his father's memory? Has Naruto finally realized Hinata's feelings for him? For the answers to all those questions and others, you'll have to stick around for the next chapter. Count up the days till the next ride.


End file.
